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Delay, Deny and Donate

Posted in: Cyber Bullying, Cyber Wellness, Error management, Online Safety, resiliency of teens, Safety, teen talk, Youth Resiliency Started by

Delay, Deny and Donate

What can you learn from a dozen school counselors from
a dozen local and internationals schools in 4 hours? I would say a lot!
This is based on workshop I conducted last week at American Club.

Counselors are fun professionals,
just like those I worked with in Nevada and Oregon.
They were friendly, cordial and very good learners.

Hmmm… in my next life, I will become a counselor!
First, I must learn to counsel myself. They ‘ve got lot on their plate.
Cyber bullying, sexting, stress, family issues, adolescent issues etc…

I came away with 3 Big Lessons: Delay, Deny and Donate

#1 Delay the Internet Frenzy
I was shocked that they have very limited Internet! Teachers are no exception.
That must be a deliberate delay policy!
Now, they are thinking about giving more access.
Very thoughtful huh? We can learn a thing from them.

#2 Deny the iphone, ipad Madness
Why does 10 year old need an iphone? a counselor asked.
Developmentally, these gadgets are overloaded with sensory distractions.
Over-stimulation of sensory organs has consequences.
To deny is to teach self-control, thereby reducing irritability or shut downs.

#3 You Need a Good Pal, Not an ipad.
A counselor from Jurong Secondary said,
My twin sons don’t care about the iphone or most modern gadgets
Observing their self-restraint, she offered it to them as gift.
Big lesson: Go get yourself a pal, not an ipad!

Overall, the counselors’ taught me to delay, deny and donate
In Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal, PhD says,
“Delayed gratification is a good sign of self-control.”
Self-control is one of the greatest predictors of personal success!